


cross the line with you

by softeldritch



Series: are you mine [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Idiots in Love, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Sharing Clothes, Winnipeg Jets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 15:28:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18501790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softeldritch/pseuds/softeldritch
Summary: Because, Nikolaj all wet and mostly naked is one thing—he sees that almost daily during the season, even if the context is a little more private here—but Nikolaj in his clothes is something else. The shirt’s too big on him, hanging weird around his shoulders and loose around his arms, and he’s rolled up the sweats at the ankles like they’re a little bit too long for him. He looks small and comfortable and Patrik wants to get in his space and hold him down. Not even do anything, just—keep him there. Keep him.So, yeah. He’s fucked.





	cross the line with you

**Author's Note:**

> Ju suggested a fic of how the boys got together in **only when you’re holding me** so of course i had to oblige and then it got a little bit (a lot) away from me
> 
> (title from _slow it down_ by _kim petras_ )

The first thing Patrik notices when he opens the door to let Nikolaj in is that he looks hilariously miserable. The second thing he notices is that Nik’s absolutely soaked, water running down the slopes of his cheekbones and making his shirt cling to the lean muscles of his torso, and that interrupts anything Patrik was gonna say for a second as he takes the sight in. Especially Nik staring up at him mulishly, like he’s waiting for Patrik to say something—and of course Patrik’s going to say something, but he also wants to shove Nikolaj around just to see that expression some more.

“You look ridiculous,” he says eventually, grinning as he steps aside to let Nikolaj into the apartment. “Did you go for a swim somewhere?”

“You have windows, you know what happened,” Nikolaj grumbles, struggling out of his shoes. They’re as waterlogged as the rest of him. “It started raining when I was driving and then there was no good parking so I had to walk through this.” He stands there in Patrik’s entryway, dripping water with his arms crossed over his chest. Patrik kind of wants to bundle him up and hold him close, but he’s kept that kind of thing to himself this long.

Instead he just laughs, reaching out to ruffle Nikolaj’s hair. Nikolaj shoves his hand away immediately but his hair’s already sticking up in crazy directions, and it just makes Patrik laugh harder. “Nice hair,” he says, watching as Nik tries to smooth down his hair with a cute little pout of concentration on his face. “You should try that style. It looks good on you.”

“Fuck you,” Nikolaj snarks. He glares down at himself, dragging his shirt away from his stomach just for it to cling again when he lets it go. “Can I use your dryer? And maybe borrow something?”

“Sure,” Patrik says. “I’m sure my mom has something that would fit you.”

“Very funny. Shouldn’t you ask your mommy before you borrow anything of hers?” Nik’s got his eyebrows raised challengingly, mouth twisted up in a smirk. It’s a really good thing Patrik’s got control of this whole weird desire to completely mess Nikolaj up when he’s like this, because seeing him all wet really isn’t helping. “Seriously, Patty, my clothes feel gross, can you just get me something to wear?”

He looks miserable and uncomfortable, which is cute, but Patrik will do the nice thing here. “Sure,” he says, before pointing at Nikolaj’s feet. “Stay there, though. I don’t want you getting water everywhere.”

Nikolaj nods, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. It keeps clinging to him in new ways every time he shifts the fabric, outlining the muscles of his abdomen or the slimness of his waist, so Patrik takes that moment to head into his room for a change of clothes. Staring at Nikolaj while he’s all wet is a bad idea, even if it feels like a really good one.

He grabs a clean pair of sweats and a plain t-shirt, and when he comes back out Nikolaj’s shirtless.

“Uh.” Patrik furrows his brow, trying (and failing) not to stare at the way Nikolaj’s muscles move under his skin, or how narrow and small he looks standing shirtless in the entryway. “What are you doing?”

Nikolaj just rolls his eyes. There’s a bit of a flush on his cheeks—weird, because it’s not like this is anything Patrik hasn’t seen before—and he stares at Patrik as he gestures with his dripping wet shirt. “You don’t want me getting water everywhere, right? So take _these_ ,” he gestures with the shirt again, and his hand goes to unbutton his jeans, “and I can get dressed.”

Patrik nods. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

“You _guess_ ,” Nik snarks, wrestling down his jeans one-handed. They’re not as soaked through as the shirt, but they’re giving him some trouble, and he hisses out a curse as he bends over to untangle his ankle. Part of Patrik wants to offer to help, just to see if he can make Nikolaj blush—and the other part kind of likes watching him struggle a bit, which . . . isn’t great, but whatever.

Then Nik’s standing there in just his boxers, holding his wet clothes and frowning down at himself with a bit of pink at the tips of his ears. “Here,” Patrik says, holding out his empty hand and the spare clothes. “Trade you.”

“Thanks, bud,” Nikolaj says, offering a grateful little smile. Patrik’s heart thumps painfully hard in his chest, and he nods with a small smile of his own, before taking Nik’s wet clothes and going to toss them in the dryer before he does something stupid like kiss the smile off of Nik’s face.

Patrik takes his time, because he has a load of laundry he should probably put on anyway. Nikolaj knows where everything is anyway; he won’t mind being kept waiting. And the more time Patrik can take to cool down and breathe after all _that_ , the better.

When he goes back out to see Nikolaj lounging on the couch, snacking on sour candy and setting up a game of Chel, Patrik realizes that he’s fucked.

Because, Nikolaj all wet and mostly naked is one thing—he sees that almost daily during the season, even if the context is a little more private here—but Nikolaj in _his_ clothes is something else. The shirt’s too big on him, hanging weird around his shoulders and loose around his arms, and he’s rolled up the sweats at the ankles like they’re a little bit too long for him. He looks small and comfortable and Patrik wants to get in his space and hold him down. Not even do anything, just—keep him there. Keep him.

So, yeah. He’s fucked.

“Took you long enough,” Nikolaj says, tossing him a grin and a candy. Patrik just kinda catches it out of instinct, and Nikolaj’s grin gets wider. “Ready to get your ass kicked?”

Patrik rolls his eyes. “Have you ever actually kicked my ass at Chel?” He settles into place on the couch, ignoring Nik’s stupid offended expression.

The problem is that Patrik can’t stop _looking_ . He’ll glance over to see Nik’s face intense with concentration and his shoulders hunched in Patrik’s oversized shirt and then there’ll be a breakaway on his goalie. He’ll catch himself staring at the knobs of Nikolaj’s spine poking out from the loose collar of the shirt, wanting to—to touch, or kiss, or _bite_ —and there’s a puck in the back of his net. He blinks at Nik’s pretty blue eyes when he turns to chirp him about his performance, and he always chirps back, but he’s looking at the way the fabric hangs weirdly around Nikolaj’s narrow waist.

And it’s not just that Nikolaj looks so small, in Patrik’s clothes—the more important thing is that he looks like he’s _Patrik’s_ , like he woke up rumpled and sleepy in Patrik’s bed, like he put on Patrik’s clothes because they were the only ones available, and because he wanted the reminder of who he belongs to.

But he doesn’t. He didn’t. And Patrik looks like an idiot, being so shit at Chel for no reason, and Nikolaj’s smug grin isn’t helping with his desire to make a mess of him.

“Wow, you suck today,” Nikolaj says, after Patrik’s sixth consecutive loss. He pops a candy in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he sucks on it, and that challenging look in his eyes definitely _shouldn’t_ make Patrik want to fuck his mouth so badly. “How are you gonna concentrate on our first game next week if you can’t even play some Chel?”

Patrik narrows his eyes. “You lose every other time and _you_ still manage to play pretty good hockey.”

“Only ‘pretty’ good?”

“Very pretty,” Patrik says, lowly, mostly without thinking. When he looks over at Nikolaj there’s a weird, confused expression on his face and a flush creeping up his (pretty) cheekbones. The moment lingers between them; Patrik stares, trying to memorize how flustered Nikolaj looks, and after a moment Nikolaj turns his gaze back to the TV and squirms a bit in his seat.

“Weirdo,” he says, but his voice is softer, and doesn’t really have any of the edge Patrik expects from it. “Another match, or are you ready to admit defeat?”

“Never,” Patrik says, meaning it.

But now he’s made Nikolaj blush, and he wants to see _more_. He wants to get his hands on him, anywhere, whisper in his ear and against his skin. He wants to see Nikolaj go bright red or shiver from his touch; he wants to hear him moan or whimper or stumble over his words. Which is bad. Obviously. Because Nikolaj isn’t his to do all that to, no matter how much Patrik might want it.

He doesn’t act on any of it. He also doesn’t get any better at playing.

“We’re playing something else,” he says after another loss. “Chel isn’t working today.”

Nikolaj’s eyes light up with laughter. “Oh, it’s not _working_?” He giggles. “That’s the problem, huh? The game isn’t working, that’s why you’re losing?” With a grin, he stretches his legs out obnoxiously and crosses an arm behind his head. “Or maybe you just suck, Patty, maybe that’s it?”

“That’s obviously not it,” Patrik tells him, because they both know it’s true. Patrik usually beats Nik at Chel when they’re playing against each other. “I’m better than you, Fly.”

Nikolaj grins, and gestures at the final scores on screen. “Really?” When his arm moves, it shifts the fabric of Patrik’s shirt again, moving where it sits on his shoulders and twisting how it fits around his waist. Patrik tracks the movement with his eyes, because he can’t look away. When he does, Nikolaj’s giving him that weird look again. Like he’s trying to figure Patrik out, but he’s not sure there _is_ something to figure out.

“I’m usually better than you,” Patrik amends with a scowl, after an inexcusably long silence between them.

Nikolaj laughs, and it’s not Patrik’s overactive imagination that it sounds a little nervous. “You just think you’re better than me,” he says, popping another candy in his mouth, sucking the sour sugar from the pad of his thumb, grinning at Patrik around it. Patrik wonders if he’d make that smug face with Patrik’s fingers in his mouth, or if he’d flush and look away.

Usually he can keep these thoughts under control. Usually he can ignore this until he’s jerking off in the shower. But Nikolaj being in his clothes is turning everything sideways.

Patrik shakes his head, scoffing at Nikolaj’s smug laughter. “I _am_ better than you.”

“Doesn’t seem like it today,” Nikolaj snickers. “But if you can’t take the heat, we can find something to do that won’t embarrass you.”

Rolling his eyes, Patrik finally manages to tear his eyes away from Nikolaj and focus back on the screen. “One more game first,” he says decisively. He’s not a teenager with a stupid crush anymore. He can beat Nik at Chel, even if Nik’s wearing his clothes and lounging at the other end of the couch. Even if it’d be easy to push him over onto the arm of the couch and kiss him until neither of them could breathe. Patrik Laine’s never met a challenge he wasn’t willing to meet head on.

They play one more game, and Patrik finally wins. He nods, smirking across the couch, and Nikolaj rolls his eyes and says, “one more,” and so they play again. It gets easier, after that, as they fall back into their routine and Patrik has something to prove now. He can mostly ignore how small and comfortable Nik looks in his clothes. Mostly.

Halfway through a match the dryer pings. Nikolaj pauses the game, standing up as he says, “guess I’ll go get changed.” He starts heading towards the laundry room, and Patrik feels this furious, frantic instinct to get up and stop him. Before he can even think about it he’s up off the couch, following Nik down the hall. Nikolaj glances over his shoulder, already grinning, saying, “hey, I’m sure I can figure out how to open your dryer—”

Patrik grabs his wrist, and without thinking, blurts out, “don’t.”

“Uh . . .” Nikolaj stares at him, then down at his wrist, then back up. Patrik knows he’s holding too tight. He doesn’t care. “Patty?” His voice is unsteady.

Patrik swallows, and doesn’t take his eyes off Nikolaj’s. “Don’t get changed.”

Nikolaj’s pulse is going wild beneath his fingertips, and that weird expression is coming back to his face. Red climbs up his cheeks, and he looks up at Patrik, confused and unsure, his eyes bright blue. It’s cute. The kind of cute that makes Patrik want to push him up against a wall.

“Um.” Nikolaj swallows, and Patrik can’t help staring at his throat. “You, uh . . . why not?”

Oh yeah. Now Patrik has to explain himself. “Because . . .” and he gets stuck, staring at the way Nikolaj’s watching him, nervous and flustered and with a crazy fast heartbeat. Something twinges in Patrik’s gut at the sight.

He doesn’t answer. He just tugs Nikolaj in with the hand around his wrist, and curls the other around the side of his neck, and tips Nikolaj’s head up to kiss him. Nikolaj immediately makes a surprised sound into his mouth, tense under his hands, arm twitching in Patrik’s grip. Then Patrik rubs his fingers up and down the back of his neck, and Nikolaj just. Melts. He hums into the kiss, moves his lips with Patrik’s, presses their bodies close enough to share body heat. Patrik bites his lip just to feel him shiver, grinning when Nik’s little murmur gets swallowed in the kiss.

Patrik’s not really sure which of them pulls away first. He just knows suddenly he’s staring at Nikolaj, whose eyes are big and blue and hazy, and they’re still close enough that Patrik can smell his own detergent on Nik. That’s something, too. Something solid and heavy in Patrik’s chest, like the sight of Nikolaj looking up at him like that when he’s wearing Patrik’s clothes.

“You look good in my clothes,” Patrik says, grinning when Nikolaj’s expression fades into something between incredulity and annoyance and shyness. It’s really adorable, and kinda hot.

“You—” Nikolaj cuts himself off with a laugh. “Of course you’re like that.” He shakes his head, nuzzles against the thumb Patrik has resting against his cheekbone—then stares up at Patrik hard enough that Patrik loses his breath a little bit. “Patty,” he says, and his cheeks are still stained red, but his tone’s no-nonsense, “what is this?”

Patrik shrugs, because it’s so simple to him that it’s hard to find the words. But that’s the wrong response, apparently, because the electricity in Nikolaj’s eyes starts to dim and his brows scrunch together. Patrik squeezes his wrist before he can start pulling away, tugging him even closer.

“It’s us,” he says slowly, searching for the right thing to say. There’s a weird hurt to Nik’s eyes now, like he thinks Patrik’s shrug was dismissive instead of all-encompassing. “It’s us, just more.” That’s not quite it. “I want . . . you. All of you.”

Nikolaj’s laugh is a little bit breathless, as he brings up a hand to cover the one Patrik still has curved over his neck. “You can probably have anything,” he says, blushing even harder, shifting on his feet like he’s uncomfortable saying it. Okay, then. Something to keep in mind. “But that’s not a really good answer.”

“I wanna keep you,” Patrik says, because he’s all in at this point. Nikolaj’s eyes go a little wide. “Not just kissing, or hooking up, or whatever.”

A soft, genuine smile softens the dramatic angles of Nik’s face. “Oh,” he says, barely a whisper. “What, like, boyfriends?”

He sounds so hopeful Patrik can’t help but lean in and kiss him again, soft and slow, drawing out a soft little whine from Nikolaj’s throat. “Yeah,” he giggles against Nik’s lips, “like boyfriends.”

They kiss in the middle of the hallway, slow and languid, exploring each other with lips and teeth and tongues. Nikolaj’s _responsive_ , moaning and whining and making these soft little sighs whenever Patrik does something new, shivering if Patrik presses a little too hard or uses his teeth. All Patrik can think about is getting him into his bed, seeing what other noises and reactions he can wring out, fooling around with him until he’s a sobbing mess who can barely speak a word of English.

That’s probably too much too soon, though, so Patrik just leans back to look Nikolaj in the eye as he grabs a fistful of the shirt Nikolaj’s wearing and says, “is it okay if I fuck you in this?”

“Jesus,” Nikolaj huffs, laughing a little helplessly, “are you really gonna just say that?”

“Can I?”

Nikolaj squirms, and doesn’t meet Patrik’s eyes. “Didn’t I say you could probably have whatever?” He flexes his fingers where his palms are braced against Patrik’s chest. “Just, you know, not if your mom is gonna come home soon.”

Oh, yeah. “Shit,” Patrik says, because his mom probably _is_ gonna be home any minute. “We should go to your place, then.”

“Fuck yes.” Nikolaj kisses him, arms winding up around his neck. It only lasts a second before Nik’s ducking away, heading for the entryway, scowling down at his still-wet shoes. He looks a little bit like he’s about to vibrate out of his own skin, and Patrik follows just to lean against the wall and watch. Then Nikolaj looks up, a smirk tugging at his mouth. “Race you back to my place?”

Patrik grins. “I’ll meet you there in a bit.” The glint in Nikolaj’s eyes gets a little confused, and maybe a bit hurt again. So Patrik crowds up close and puts his hands on Nik’s waist and squeezes, just to see his eyelashes flutter, and says, “you should shower, right? Get cleaned up?”

Nikolaj heaves out a long, shuddering breath. “Yeah. Okay.”

Still grinning, Patrik shifts his grip to the t-shirt and tugs on it, enough to pull the collar down a little and reveal more of Nikolaj’s collarbones. “Make sure you’re wearing this when I get there,” he says. Then he figures he might as well push, just a little, to see whether Nikolaj bucks up against it or goes under. “Make sure you’re wearing _only_ this.”

Judging by how blotchy and red Nikolaj’s face gets, Patrik’s pretty sure it’ll be the latter.

“You’re demanding,” Nikolaj grumbles, shoving away from Patrik’s hands to grab his keys and wallet from the side table. “It’s still raining out there, dumbass, the shirt’s gonna get all wet.”

Oh, right. Well, there’s a simple enough fix for that problem. Patrik swings open the closet, grabs his running jacket, and tosses it in Nikolaj’s direction. “There,” he says, while Nik stares at the jacket with wide eyes and a weird twist to his mouth. “That’ll keep it dry.”

Nikolaj blinks, and laughs. “Okay.” He shrugs on the jacket and zips it up, spreading his arms wide as he grins up at Patrik. “How do I look?”

 _Like you’re mine_ , Patrik thinks. He doesn’t say it, because that’s probably too soon. Technically they only started dating maybe five minutes ago. Instead he smirks a little bit, dragging his eyes over Nikolaj’s body, zeroing in on the way the sleeves are a little too long and the cut of the shoulders too wide. “Good,” he settles on eventually. “Really good, Fly.”

Nikolaj grins at Patrik, nervous and a little bit shy, but there’s nothing shy about the way he darts close and kisses him. It’s filthy for the few seconds it’s happening, as Nikolaj licks into his mouth and makes him groan. Then Nik’s stepping back, jangling his keys, bright red and bright-eyed but smirking.

“See you in a bit, Patty,” he says. “And don’t take too long, or I might get started without you.”

Patrik raises his brows. “Well, obviously. You like it fast, right?”

Nikolaj just rolls his eyes, gives Patrik the finger, and steps out of the apartment.

Patrik goes about cleaning up the snacks and shutting off the PS4. He thinks maybe he should be nervous, because this is maybe the stupidest and most dangerous thing he’s ever done, but there’s no nerves at all. Maybe because it’s Nikolaj, or maybe just because he’s pretty sure this is gonna work out well.

He gives it a few minutes, playing some game on his phone, and then he waits a bit longer than necessary because he knows it’ll make Nikolaj squirm. And also because he’s curious whether Nik really _will_ start without him, and what that would look like. Patrik wouldn’t hate walking in on Nikolaj getting himself off and just being able to watch.

Again, though. Probably too soon to introduce, uh, voyeurism.

He grabs a waterproof coat and leaves, texting his mom on the way downstairs to let her know they’ve moved to Nik’s place. It’s not the first time; they usually head over when she comes home, so they can be rowdy and obnoxious without disturbing her, so he knows she won’t be suspicious.

It’s still pouring when Patrik gets outside, and he decides to drive a little slower just for safety. It’s a good excuse, anyway. Luckily he has a key to Nikolaj’s place, because it means he can drive as fast or slow as he wants and Nikolaj will have no idea he’s there until he actually opens the door and steps inside. And for them—for Nikolaj, who moves fast and looks ahead everywhere he goes, and for Patrik, who decides his own pace—that’s extra fun.

Anticipation makes his heart thud as he (slowly, quietly) unlocks Nikolaj’s door and steps inside. The apartment is mostly dark, and Patrik wonders how much of that is Nikolaj setting the atmosphere and how much is him being in too much of a rush to turn any lights on.

Suddenly Nikolaj’s stepping out from the hallway to his bedroom, shoulders heaving as he breathes hard. “Hey,” he says breathlessly, staring at Patrik a little bit helplessly. He’s wearing the shirt. _Only_ the shirt. It’s kind of big on Patrik, so it hangs down past the hips on Nikolaj, giving Patrik a very generous view of Nikolaj’s toned thighs. “Took you long enough.” When Patrik drags his eyes away from Nik’s legs it’s to see Nik flushed and scowling, hair dripping water down his face.

Patrik grins, and immediately pushes into Nikolaj’s space, hands near his hips. “Sorry,” he says, knowing his laughter ruins any illusions of apology, “it was raining. I didn’t wanna crash.” Before Nikolaj can call him in the lie he leans down, kissing him hard enough to bruise, drawing out a low little whine.

Nikolaj shoves his hands up under Patrik’s shirt. “C’mon,” he says, digging his fingers in. “We can make out any other time.” He leans back to stare at Patrik, a nervous challenge in the slant of his mouth as he says, “didn’t you have a whole thing about fucking me in your shirt?”

Yeah. Yeah, he does.

“Okay, okay,” Patrik says, shoving at Nikolaj until he’s stumbling backwards down the hall, Patrik still all up in his space, “you’re so needy.”

“I’m just not an asshole who likes to leave other people hanging,” Nikolaj chirps back. He lets Patrik push him around anyway, until they’re in his bedroom. Patrik backs him up until his knees hit the bed and then keeps pushing, watching with a grin as Nikolaj’s eyes go wide until his back hits the mattress. He’s laughing, but flushed and flustered. “Pushy.”

“You love it.”

Nikolaj’s face goes . . . weird, for a second. He opens his mouth, like he’s about to say something, then closes it again. Then he rolls his eyes, and grabs something up near his pillow just to throw it at Patrik’s chest.

Patrik catches instinctively, and glances down to see himself holding lube and a condom. He looks back up with a grin. “Babe, you shouldn’t have.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t, if you’re gonna be a dick,” Nikolaj fires back, pushing up onto his elbows, knees pressed together a bit awkwardly. Patrik takes a moment to just drink in the sight of him, curled up and hunched tight like he’s a bit shy, glaring up with a look in his eyes like he has no idea what to do with Patrik staring at him so long. “Are you gonna do anything or do you want a picture?”

Patrik grins, because he would.

“That wasn’t an offer,” Nikolaj deadpans. “Get down here.”

Patrik could draw it out a little more, really make Nikolaj squirm. He doesn’t, though, because his dick’s been half-hard since the drive over and it’s getting hard to ignore that. Instead he climbs onto the bed, half-crawling up Nikolaj’s body, not at all surprised when Nik makes space for him between his legs and fists a hand in the front of his shirt to haul him up for a kiss. It’s hot and messy, no finesse whatsoever, just teeth and tongues and saliva—the kind of kiss Patrik always thought was gross, but there’s a desperation with Nikolaj that goes straight to his dick.

Patrik grinds his hips down and they both groan. It’s been a while since Patrik’s done anything like this and it’s always so much fucking hotter to have someone underneath him, writhing the way Nikolaj is. And the fact that it’s Nikolaj and not some random half-stranger is even better.

“This is weird,” Nikolaj mumbles, when Patrik kisses down his jaw, so Patrik bites him. Not hard, but Nikolaj’s hips twitch and he huffs out a laugh. “I mean it’s weird how . . . not weird it is.”

“Oh.” He bites a little harder, memorizing the way Nikolaj squirms. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“It just—” Patrik starts sucking a bruise high up on his throat and the words dissolve into breathless laughter. “It feels like it should be weird.”

“Stop talking so much,” Patrik mutters.

“Then stop going slow and fuck me.” Patrik lifts up to hover over Nikolaj and see his glare, cheeks flushed but eyes bright. There’s a weird nervousness in the way he’s staring up at Patrik, like he’s looking an inch above his eyes. “Unless you want me to do it without you.”

Patrik blinks at him, imagining Nikolaj fingering himself open, wondering whether he’s ever done it before. “Actually—”

“ _No_ ,” Nikolaj snickers, like he knows exactly what Patrik’s thinking. “You fucking weirdo.”

Patrik shrugs as much as he can in this position, dropping the condom somewhere near Nikolaj’s waist and popping the cap off the lube one-handed. “It’d be hot,” he says, leveraging himself up and sitting back on his heels. “Have you ever done it?”

The grin Nikolaj gives him is wicked, as he props himself up on his elbows to meet Patrik’s gaze dead on. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Well, okay. If Nikolaj wants to use _that_ tone, like he’s daring Patrik into _proving_ something—

It’s not easy getting lube on his fingers with one hand, but he manages, because he’s using the other to shove up the shirt as he bends down and licks a long stripe up the underside of Nik’s cock. “Fuck—!” Nikolaj shouts, hips trying to buck up against the weight of Patrik’s hand. Patrik tips his head up just enough to see Nikolaj staring at him, wild-eyed, before he grins and dips back down to take the head of Nik’s cock in his mouth. “ _Fuuuuck_ ,” Nikolaj groans through clenched teeth, thighs already shaking. It’s cute, because Patrik’s barely even started.

“You good?” he asks, mouth against Nikolaj’s dick. Then, as Nikolaj opens his mouth to get snappish, probably, Patrik works the tip of a lubed finger into his ass and swallows down half his cock.

A sound caught somewhere between a moan and a whine bursts into the room as Nikolaj collapses, and it sends blood straight to Patrik’s dick. He hollows his cheeks around Nikolaj’s dick, working his finger in further, spreading his palm wide over Nikolaj’s stomach to feel the way he’s trembling. Patrik hasn’t sucked a dick in a while, but Nikolaj makes it easy to get the rhythm right. He responds to _everything_ ; hands fisting in the sheets, little whimpers slipping out of his mouth, thighs spasming whenever Patrik crooks his finger or tongues at the head of his cock.

Patrik pulls off, sitting up enough to see Nikolaj staring up at the ceiling. He’s still making these quiet little whining sounds, still shaking all over.

“Look at me,” Patrik says, soft but still pressing. Without argument Nikolaj curls up a little, enough to meet his eyes, mouth twisted in confusion. Patrik holds the stare, until Nikolaj’s squirming just from that. He keeps his eyes on Patrik’s though, even though he looks embarrassed to be watched so intently, so Patrik grins at him a little and slips another finger in alongside the first.

“You—” Nikolaj jolts and slumps backwards again, and Patrik laughs. “A-are you trying to kill me?”

“No,” Patrik says, before he takes Nikolaj’s dick in his mouth again.

Nikolaj moans something garbled and messy that Patrik thinks might be Danish, and his fingers thread into Patrik’s hair. “Patty,” he chokes, and then doesn’t say anything else. Like Patrik’s name is enough.

 _Mine_ , Patrik wants to say. _Too soon_ , he reminds himself.

“Patty,” Nikolaj says again. His fingers go tight in Patrik’s hair, and it makes him want to bite a mark into Nikolaj’s hip. Oh, wait. He can do that.

He drags up off Nikolaj’s dick, pausing long enough to prompt, “yeah?” before he leans back down to kiss the jut of Nikolaj’s hip bone. Nikolaj makes a small, wounded noise that breaks into a moan when Patrik bites down.

“Patty, I—” He shudders, as Patrik crooks his fingers inside him. “I wanna tell you something—”

“Yeah?” Patrik repeats. He glances up to see Nikolaj propped up on his elbows again, staring at him, shoulders heaving as he breathes. “Go ahead, Nik, I’m listening.”

“I’m in love with you.” His eyes are bright and blue and he looks like he’s braced for a hit, and Patrik feels his whole body go still. Nikolaj notices. He winces, eyes shuttering off to the side. “I, uh, I don’t know if you’re in for that. Boyfriends is different than—than that. So I thought I should tell you, so if you don’t wanna get in that deep, we could . . . stop.” He’s struggling through the words, his accent coming through thicker, and Patrik’s heart shoots up into his throat because he sounds like he’s in _pain_.

“How long,” Patrik finds himself rumbling, pressing his palm down maybe a little too hard on Nikolaj’s lower belly.

Nikolaj wheezes, then looks at Patrik again, his eyes wide with panic. “What?”

Some things, they can communicate without saying anything, they’ve been able to for years. Patrik wishes this was one of them, because he doesn’t want to fuck up the words. “How long have you been in love with me?”

“Shit, I don’t know,” Nikolaj snaps, his voice wavering. “For a while, I guess.” His pretty blue eyes flicker away again, eyelashes curving over his cheeks as he stares down. A crooked, sad little smile quirks his mouth. “I think it started when you got your first hat trick.”

Patrik remembers the moment. Remembers the excitement of the hat trick, and the excitement of having Nikolaj’s body pressed so close to his. He thought it was a rookie crush, back then, until it just . . . didn’t really go away.

“Me too,” Patrik says, and he crooks his fingers to see Nikolaj’s shock dissolve as his eyes roll back. “I love you too. Probably since then, the same as you.”

“Patrik,” Nikolaj says, and he’s sitting up a bit further now, his voice a bit unsteady as he finds Patrik’s stare and holds it. “Don’t mess with me. Okay?”

“Okay,” Patrik says, then, “I love you.”

A genuine smile spreads wide across Nikolaj’s face, bright enough that Patrik can’t help but grin back. “Okay,” Nikolaj repeats, grinning like an idiot. He reaches out, managing to drag his fingers down Patrik’s cheek, nails catching on the stubble he hasn’t shaved in a few days. “Come up here.”

Usually, Patrik wouldn’t. He’s in the middle of trying to take Nikolaj apart inside and out, after all. But it’s not hard to indulge this. So he slides back up Nikolaj’s body and kisses the giddy grin right off his stupid face. It’s sweeter than it should be, when Patrik still has two fingers in Nik’s ass, but that’s a little bit perfect. Patrik murmurs into the kiss, dumb little words like, “you’re perfect,” and, “so good,” and catalogues every shiver and sigh he gets in return.

But he’s also got a goal. So he pulls back with a final tug to Nikolaj’s lower lip, kissing and sucking his way down Nik’s throat, biting at the collar of his own shirt. He doesn’t draw it out, and soon enough he’s mouthing at Nik’s cock and nudging another finger into his hole.

Nikolaj’s moan is wordless and broken, and muffled towards the end; when Patrik looks up, it’s to see Nikolaj collapsed on his back again with an arm thrown over his face. Patrik’s gonna have to train him not to muffle himself—because seriously, he’s not good at it anyway, there’s no dignity worth saving—but for now he’s got other things to worry about. So he huffs a laugh against Nik’s hip, then swallows his cock down almost to the root and shoves all three fingers knuckle-deep.

“Oh fuck—” Nikolaj grasps at his hair, at his shoulder, trembling wildly beneath him. “Patty, Patty, I can’t—” Words start spilling out, mostly nonsense with a lot of cursing and a lot of Patrik’s name, falling apart into whines whenever Patrik moves his fingers just right. Patrik wants to take him apart completely, until all he remembers is Patrik’s name. He swallows around Nik’s cock and grinds his fingers into Nik’s prostate, and Nikolaj’s gasping, “wait, wait—” until he comes down Patrik’s throat with a desperate moan.

Patrik swallows, because the taste is always worse if he lets it linger in his mouth. Nikolaj’s still shaking with it, whining and whimpering as Patrik slowly fingers him through the oversensitivity and mouths at his dick. He’s cute like this, trembling but otherwise fully limp, and Patrik levers up to take the sight in.

Nikolaj, sprawled on his back and gasping for breath, drowning in Patrik’s shirt with three fingers in his ass. It’s a good look.

And when Nikolaj finally opens his eyes, and glances up at Patrik with an expression that’s somewhere between humiliation and satisfaction, it gets so much better. “Shit,” Nikolaj whispers, wincing. “Sorry.”

Patrik furrows his brow. “Why?”

“Just, it’s—” Nikolaj laughs nervously, his face flushed. He swallows. It’s obvious he’s embarrassed, in the way he’s looking to the side and shifting his shoulders and breathing a little too raggedly, like he can’t quite catch his breath. “I didn’t mean to yet. I wanted to—y’know. When you were inside.” He meets Patrik’s eyes, apologetic and enticing, and Patrik wants—he _wants_. A lot. Way too much.

He can have this, though. He smirks, and presses a hand over Nik’s sternum, feeling the sweat-soaked fabric of his own shirt. “I can still make you come on my cock, Niky.”

As expected, Nikolaj immediately shudders, so hard it almost looks painful. “Jesus. That’s . . .” He’s breathing faster now, chest rising and falling rapidly under Patrik’s palm. “I’m not a fucking teenager anymore, Patty.”

Maybe he doesn’t mean it like a challenge, but that’s how Patrik hears it. “You don’t think I can?” He crooks his fingers, rubbing up against Nik’s prostate, grinning when Nikolaj whimpers. One day, when this isn’t so new, he’ll hold Nikolaj down and use his hands and mouth and cock on him, over and over until he’s crying and begging and so spent he can’t even move. Not today, but someday.

Maybe Nikolaj can see some of that in his eyes, though, because he trembles again and his half-hard cocks jumps against his leg and he mumbles, “fuck me,” so quietly it must be to himself. Patrik will take it as an instruction anyway.

He draws his fingers out slowly, spreading them just to hear Nikolaj’s groan. It’s a bit of a struggle to pull his dick out of his sweats and roll the condom on over it—he’s so hard it almost _hurts_ , at this point. When he glances up it’s to see Nikolaj staring at his dick, lashes casting shadows over his cheeks, brows scrunched like he’s embarrassed by himself but can’t seem to tear his eyes away. Fuck, he’s cute.

“Is it okay like this?” Patrik asks, grabbing Nikolaj by the hips and hauling him into his lap.

Nikolaj just tips his head back against the mattress and says, “anything you want, just—do it already.” His voice is shaky, already edging back into desperate.

Patrik’s not gonna say no to that. He lines his dick up with Nikolaj’s hole, reveling in the way Nikolaj’s legs tremble where they’re wrapped haphazardly around his hips. “Okay, Niky,” he murmurs, petting over Nikolaj’s thigh with his free hand. “I’ve got you.”

The first thrust in has them both groaning. Patrik almost loses his mind from it all; the tight heat around his cock, the shaking of Nikolaj’s body, the half-crazed whimpers spilling into the space between them. He grabs Nik’s hips, maybe a little too tight, rolling his hips forward as he works himself further inside. _Fuck_ . It’s been a while since he’s fucked anyone, man or woman, and _never_ anybody who squirms and whines as much as Nikolaj is right now. A darker side of Patrik wonders whether anyone else has ever coaxed quite this much of a reaction out of Nikolaj; then, he decides he doesn’t really want to know. It doesn’t matter, really, because Nikolaj is _his_.

The thought’s sudden and violent and catches him completely off guard, and before Patrik can stop he’s dragging Nikolaj closer and thrusting in until his hips are flush with Nik’s ass. “ _Fuck_ ,” he grinds out, head dropping forward. For a second there, he was one hip grind away from coming. The wild arousal’s still settling down. Patrik breathes through his nose, harsh and ragged, trying not to be too affected by the way Nikolaj’s sweat smells mixed with Patrik’s laundry detergent.

“Fuck, Patty.” Speaking of Nikolaj. Patrik glances up, and Nik’s staring glassy-eyed at the ceiling with his mouth hanging open as he heaves in each breath. “A little warning would be nice.” His voice is thin, his vowels a little slurred, and Patrik leans over and braces his arms next to Nikolaj’s head so he can kiss the stupid look off his face.

At first it’s slow and lazy, like they’re getting used to each other all over again. Nikolaj’s pliant beneath him, lips moving with Patrik’s rhythm, sucking on Patrik’s tongue as he licks into his mouth. The weight of how much control Patrik has here hits kinda suddenly and his hips jerk, driving even deeper. Arousal races up his spine like lightning and Nikolaj moans into his mouth and then there’s nothing lazy about the kiss anymore.

“You good?” Patrik asks, between biting Nikolaj’s lips raw. “Can I move?”

“Yeah,” Nikolaj mumbles. “Yeah, go ahead, c’mon.”

So Patrik pulls out almost all the way, then rolls his hips forward hard and thorough. He builds that rhythm, not too fast but achingly steady, unhurried as he chases the orgasm building in his groin. Nikolaj’s whining through his teeth; they’re pained, pathetic little sounds that would worry Patrik a lot more if Nikolaj wasn’t also clenching around his cock and digging his heels into Patrik’s lower back to grind up against him. His hands are moving all over Patrik’s back like he can’t figure out where to put them, fingers digging into the skin, nails dragging burning marks across his spine.

“You’re so hot like this,” Patrik tells him, punctuating it with a thrust of his hips that has Nikolaj groaning. “Wearing my shirt, like I told you to.”

Nikolaj laughs. “You like being in charge, huh?” His laugh breaks into a whimper when Patrik grinds his dick in and keeps it there, making them both shiver with tiny circles of his hips. “Of course you do, you asshole. Makes sense that you—”

Patrik cuts him off with a bite to his neck, and Nikolaj’s words break off into a whine. “So?” He slows the rhythm, sucks and bites a bruise into the column of Nikolaj’s throat. “You obviously like it too.” He noses at the collar of the shirt. “And it’s not just that. I like you wearing my stuff.” Maybe it’s too early to say that, but it’s probably also too early to say _I love you_ , and that didn’t stop them. “I like you looking like you’re mine.”

“ _Fuck_.”

Smirking, Patrik presses a soft kiss to the bruise he left. “And you like it too.”

“Shut up,” Nikolaj laughs. He shudders when Patrik slowly thrusts in again, a frantic giggle spilling out of him. “You’re so annoying.”

 _You’re annoying_ , Patrik almost says. Instead, he kisses up Nik’s neck, under his jaw, up to the shell of his ear and says, “you’re cute,” because that’s true too. Nikolaj shivers, and Patrik’s not sure if it’s from the words or Patrik’s voice, soft and low in his ear.

“Stop talking,” Nikolaj says, and Patrik’s about to say something else, just to get on his nerves, when Nikolaj keeps going with, “and fuck me properly.”

Nikolaj knows how Patrik feels about being challenged.

He kisses Nikolaj hard, tongue shoving down his throat. Then as soon as it’s started Patrik pulls away, shoving up to sit on his heels again, as Nikolaj wheezes and stares up at him like he’s dumbstruck. It’s a good look on him. Like he can’t think beyond everything Patrik is doing to him. Good, because Patrik wants to ruin him.

He grabs Nikolaj by both thighs, hitching them up so they’re around Patrik’s waist—then further, pushing until he’s got his hands in the crooks of Nik’s knees. “How flexible are you?” Patrik asks, grinning, not waiting for an answer when he pushes down and bends Nikolaj almost in half.

Nikolaj stares at him, wide-eyed and breathing hard. Patrik kind of wishes he could feel Nik’s pulse right now, just to know how hard is heart is hammering, because he looks like he’s about to shake apart. Instead he pulls out halfway and thrusts back in, testing the new angle—and Nikolaj actually cries out, breaking their eye contact as he thumps his head back against the mattress, hands fisting in the sheets near his head so violently Patrik’s almost concerned he’ll rip them.

Patrik’s dick throbs at the sight. Fuck, Nikolaj’s so expressive—everything he wants, everything he feels, it’s written all over him, and Patrik just. Wants to give him all of it. Wants to take anything he can.

“Fuck, fuck.” Nikolaj’s rambling, arching his back, writhing in Patrik’s grip. “C’mon, Patty, do that again, do it—”

Patrik pushes further at his legs, bends Nikolaj so far it must hurt, and thrusts again. He starts up a new rhythm—harder this time, faster, because he can’t hold himself back anymore. Not when it feels this good, like he’s losing his mind.

“Holy fuck,” Nikolaj says raggedly, staring at some point above Patrik’s head. He looks—and sounds—like he’s as out of his mind as Patrik feels.

Patrik can feel his orgasm building, and he wants to get Nikolaj there first. Mostly just to prove that he can. He leans down as far as he can, fingers flexing on Nik’s legs when the stretch makes him whine, managing an open-mouthed kiss. But he doesn’t actually _want_ to pull something in Nik’s thighs, so he eases up enough to see him properly and says, “Niky, look at me?”

Nikolaj does. He’s flushed, and his eyes are wide, and he seems embarrassed by the eye contact. That sparks something in Patrik, the vulnerability there. It’s not really a _good_ something, but he doesn’t think Nikolaj would mind, if Patrik told him how much he wants to take him apart.

“You’re so pretty,” Patrik tells him, thrusting in and grinding his hips.

Nikolaj keens, head thrown back and thighs shaking, and comes all over his own chest. Without even a hand on his cock.

 _Fuck_ , that’s—that’s something. Patrik loses his rhythm, hips stuttering, grinding forward as he chases the clenching pressure. He groans when his orgasm hits, spilling into the condom, barely keeping his grip when Nikolaj’s thighs jerk.

For a long second Patrik’s frozen, shuddering through the aftershocks. Then he realizes he’s still bending Nikolaj in half, so he eases off and helps Nik’s thighs settle around his hips. Nikolaj’s mostly quiet, whimpering a little when Patrik pulls out, dragging his hands up over his face and groaning into them like he’s embarrassed. Patrik’ll let him have that for now, because he’s got a condom to throw out and a dick to tuck back in his sweats.

Patrik imagines, someday, fucking Nikolaj without the condom. Coming inside him, leaving a mark nobody else will ever see, something only the two of them will know about. It’s definitely too soon for _that_ , though, so Patrik tosses the condom in the garbage and crawls back onto the bed with legs that are still a little shaky.

Nothing compared to Nikolaj, apparently, because he’s still trembling like he’s got a dick inside him. Patrik climbs up his body, settling easily between his splayed legs, tucking his face into the side of Nikolaj’s head. He trails his fingers up the sensitive skin of Nik’s inner arm until he finds his open palm; then, it’s easy enough to wind their fingers together and squeeze, and Nikolaj gives him a whole new kind of shiver.

“We really just did that, huh,” Nikolaj says after a long second. He sounds _wrecked_ , all raspy and breathless.

Patrik smiles against his scalp. “I guess so.”

Nikolaj nods. “Wow. We’re dumb.”

That makes Patrik laugh. He pushes up so he’s looking at Nikolaj properly, pinning Nik’s hand to the bed. “Well, yeah,” he says, as Nikolaj grins nervously up at him. “We knew that, Nik.”

“But you’re not, uh . . . regretting anything?”

Oh. It’s kind of sweet, how earnest he’s being, how scared he’s trying _not_ to sound. Patrik dips down to kiss him, soft and unhurried. “No,” he murmurs, pulling back to smile down at Nik again. “Nothing.”

“Okay.” Nikolaj sounds satisfied by the answer, so Patrik tucks his face into his neck and breathes him in.

“Hey,” he says after a few minutes of relative silence have passed, after Nikolaj’s stopped shaking so much, after they’ve both settled back into mostly calm breathing. “I knew I could make you come on my cock.”

Nikolaj chokes on air. “Seriously?” It’s hilarious, how much his voice is wavering; whether it’s from what Patrik just said or still from Patrik fucking him stupid, Patrik doesn’t really know. He can basically feel the eyeroll when Nikolaj snorts and says, “yeah, yeah, you were right. Congratulations. Do you want me to feed your ego more and tell you you’re the best I’ve had?”

Well, _now_ he does.

Patrik lifts up again, hovering over Nikolaj so he can look at him properly. “Am I?”

Nikolaj swallows, and narrows his eyes, and glances off to the side with his lips pressed into a thin line. “I don’t want to answer that.”

Patrik grins. “So I am.”

“Well I don’t have a _ranking_ , Patty,” Nikolaj grumbles. He’s still not meeting Patrik’s eyes, though, so Patrik takes it as a yes. It thrills the possessive side of him, the part that wants to tuck Nikolaj away and keep him all for himself. He’s Nikolaj’s _best_. Nikolaj can probably tell how smug that makes him, because he starts prodding at Patrik’s side and whining, “okay, time to get off, you’re fat.”

Patrik scoffs, but he rolls off and onto his back so they’re laying side by side. Any fake offense he was feeling disappears, though, when Nikolaj turns on his side to face him and finds his hand again, threading their fingers together. When Patrik looks over at him he’s staring back, smiling a little, looking like he’s halfway to falling asleep.

“Hey, stupid,” Nikolaj says.

Patrik can’t help but smile back. “Hey, stupid.”

Nikolaj yawns, shuffling a little closer. “You owe me a really good date now. Like, dressing up nice and going out somewhere, even if we have to be discrete or whatever. And you’re paying.”

“Why do I owe you anything?”

Nikolaj glares at him. “Because I can’t fucking walk thanks to you, Patty.”

Oh, right. Patrik grins, mostly to himself, a little thrill of pride swelling up in his chest. That’s another kind of mark he’s left, like the collection of hickeys on Nik’s throat. A reminder for Nikolaj, of who he belongs to. Which, again, probably a little too soon to be thinking like that. Patrik just sort of doesn’t care at all.

“Shut up,” Nikolaj grumbles, even though Patrik hasn’t said anything. “You’re ruining the moment.”

“Are we having a moment?”

“Not anymore, you ruined it.” Nikolaj moves closer, though, so he’s almost wrapped around Patrik’s arm and nuzzling into his shoulder. He keeps shifting and twisting, trying to find some position that’s not too hard on his hips. Patrik’s probably not supposed to find his discomfort hot. Especially not the barely-hidden whine in his voice when he says, “so, uh, should we talk about this?”

Yeah, probably. Patrik just reaches over to pat Nik’s shoulder. “Tomorrow.”

They’re got the important things figured out already. _Boyfriends_ and _I love you_ and really mind-blowing sex. All the complicated parts—how they’re gonna keep it a secret, who’s allowed to know—those are things Patrik is willing to leave for later. Right now, all that matters is that he has Nikolaj.

 _Mine_ , Patrik thinks, and something hungry settles inside him, because it’s finally true.

**Author's Note:**

> i………....wasn’t expecting this to be so long.
> 
> (phrasing.)
> 
> [tumblr](http://soft-eldritch.tumblr.com/) // [twitter](http://twitter.com/softeldritch)


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